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Never Live It Down

by No Lungs

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1.
Windows 04:20
lyrics
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There’s a monster that’s seeing red and I can’t look at it Revealed in bursts as a silhouette in a twisted acid trip I didn’t mean to spill the news, I thought everyone knew I didn’t mean to block your view, I thought you could see too But now I’ll never live it down And it’s coming back around Never live it down And it's coming back around Never get it out I can’t break what’s broken now Never live it down And it’s coming back around Every wall in this room is thin, but no one’s listening And every window is open wide but no one’s sneaking in I could have sworn that it all worked out but it all looks the same I’ve seen that face sometimes but I cannot recollect the name But now I’ll never live it down And it’s coming back around Never live it down And it's coming back around Never get it out I can’t break what’s broken now Never live it down And it’s coming back around If this is what you want then come and get it But when it's within reach, you just regret it We're spilling words we can't attest to We're spreading this disease straight from the test tube
2.
Once More 04:20
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I’ve turned the lights off twenty times I’m hiding under the sheets all night I know I know it’s only in my mind But it’s a mountain too high to climb Can I divorce myself, describing mental health, no problems get resolved, perpetuate the cause, it wasn’t cute to start but now it breaks apart when I get stuck in my ways repeating steps and handshakes It's alright, it’s been a long day You don’t know 'cause I don’t talk about it It’s alright it’s been a long day Every hour is just a headache If you don’t know you better plan the words to say It’s alright, it’s been a long day I’m not a doctor but I diagnose Those labels seem to be too general Oh no, I know I’m not a seasoned pro Afraid to face someone who really knows It’s not as comforting when it’s crippling I cannot fall asleep I spend my days fatigued I need consistency How do my friends see me How will I break the news, it’s breaking up with me It's alright, it’s been a long day You don’t know 'cause I don’t talk about it It’s alright it’s been a long day Every hour is just a headache If you don’t know you better plan the words to say It’s alright, it’s been a long day It's more than a tick but how do I get rid of it? When you’re around, you think I’m good as gold I’ve tried to hide it but it’s getting old I know I know those things I’ve left untold I’m getting worse and starting to unfold Pawn off a solid head Why am I so upset? Makeshift lobotomy Free psychotherapy Compulsions rarely stray Stay with me 'til I’m grey These faults are on display I’ll take them to my grave It's alright, it’s been a long day You don’t know 'cause I don’t talk about it It’s alright it’s been a long day Every hour is just a headache If you don’t know you better plan the words to say It’s alright, it’s been a long day It’s more than a tick but how do I get rid of it?
3.
Ambulance 03:52
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The person in the mirror Is the one you’ve come to fear Feel the sting Smothered by too much of a good thing But it takes more than a bandage to fix you up Bleed a slow death of a thousand cuts No ambulance is fast enough in emergencies Snip the strings that keep your mouth sewed shut The truth begins to show when you try your luck Give me a sign or something beautiful to see I love you more than you can love yourself If you don’t think you want it, put it on the shelf I love you more than you could love yourself alone I love you more than I will ever show If you don’t think you need it, I won’t let you know I love you more than you can love yourself and more So where’s the invite to the funeral? I hear you breathing steady but you lost your soul Your skin and bones are held together by broken tethers I’ll bring you back as a hologram It’s just as sentimental as a photograph I couldn’t stand to live a life like that forever I love you more than you can love yourself If you don’t think you want it, put it on the shelf I love you more than you could love yourself alone I love you more than I will ever show If you don’t think you need it, I won’t let you know I love you more than you can love yourself and more You sink in water that’s not so shallow You're far too old to run from your shadow You’ve become a person you abhor And you’ll never catch good moments when they creep out the door You’re clenching onto the past, it’s time to loosen your grip It’s doing you no good when you romanticize it I cannot wake you up, I cannot change your fate You were so full of joy so who took your place I love you more than you can love yourself If you don’t think you want it, put it on the shelf I love you more than you could love yourself alone I love you more than I will ever show If you don’t think you need it, I won’t let you know I love you more than you can love yourself and more I love you more than you can love yourself You’re holding it together as someone else I love you more than you could ever tell yourself
4.
Better Weather 06:38
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We went back and forth too long After a while I shut down I shut down I held my breath for better weather Hope it rains And washes you out Washes you out And I know you didn’t know When this annoyance turned to war I tuned it out, I shut the door, and it’s no more I couldn’t stand on solid ground I lost my balance then I fell down Became unwound Forget that line at least you tried It won’t be perfect every time Every time I see you I’m surprised Cuz in my head you haven’t left Did I miss that final breath now That final breath you know the good times didn’t end I hoped these thoughts all got repressed But then you brought them up again now Again now It’s not as easy as it seems This world is different than your dreams now You thought it over you’re shutting off the gleam If it came back to you Would you let it go? And when there’s nothing to prove Will your conscience show? You always looked insecure with the lights on I remember what you said Toss and turn awake in my bed In my bed Some people will not change Clench your pillow hold it tight, I smeared your name across the skyline You always had a hand to hold Now you spend the night alone now No one is ever close Sad songs will always tear you up But you will never turn the sound off Turn the sound off Suffer while you sing If it came back to you Would you let it go? And when there’s nothing to prove Will your conscience show? You always looked insecure with the lights on I pulled thorns out of my side Threw up that swallowed pride Now I’m the only one I can trust But I hope you know I tried Everyday is on repeat Sympathy lost touch of me You wore your privilege like a crutch and now it’s long gone You’re not glowing anymore I can see you when you're running
5.
Rock and a Hard Place 04:02
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You get what you ask for Until you can’t relate to anything anymore The bags are growing darker I’m not much further than I was before When you put it that way You make it so much harder to fix what I want to change I thought it looked so easy To crumble up when you get thrown away Caught between a rock and a hard place You say I should get over it Caught between the words that I misplaced It’s not as easy to forgive and forget I'm leaping from a high dive And for a second there I thought I could really fly But at the peak I realized You work it out or you leave it all behind I fell asleep with blocks and a train set I woke up with facial hair and bad debt We’ve known each other for so long We both know well enough that the magic is gone Caught between a rock and a hard place You say I should get over it Caught between the words that I misplaced It’s not as easy to forgive and forget We will drown No rescue from the meltdown You transcend all of my memories Save the ship and the mess that comes with it It’s not as easy to forgive and forget I could have reached and grabbed that picture frame Before the photos swapped and got rearranged Is this the life that I am meant to lead? Could I say it's worth something to me? Caught between a rock and a hard place You say I should get over it Caught between the words that I misplaced It’s not as easy to forgive and forget We will drown No rescue from the meltdown You transcend all of my memories Save the ship and the mess that comes with it It’s not as easy to forgive and forget
6.
Cult Darlings 04:29
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I was set for the summer to remember Now I’m thinking it’s the season to forget My thin skin couldn’t fight the frigid weather Now the sun shines brighter when I’m better off in bed If life is short, you must be living it right Or you must not give a thought about it I’m full of shit And you’re sick of it It’s hard to learn That some people hate The people they became And they won’t return I spent my money on a course on making money I saw the irony right after the mistake I couldn’t focus on the course enough to see The cash flow in, so I guess I’ll take the blame The glory days weren’t glorious at all They had their rise, now here’s the fall I’m full of shit And you’re sick of it It’s hard to learn That some people hate The people they became And they won’t return Mistakes are made There will be more on the way I’m too stubborn to admit that I won't change I’m full of shit And you’re sick of it It’s hard to learn That some people hate The people they became And they won’t return There’s so reset switch Can't scratch the itch It won’t soothe the burn It’s crashing down Get out of town Too late to be concerned
7.
Hard Truths Devoured 06:18
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I thought I saw you in a daydream We fell out like rotten teeth Writing letters in the air of the movie stars you want to meet And I’ve been walking on eggshells Now it feels like broken glass Stuck around for a while now that whiles not coming back Let’s cut to the chase about you and me Let’s tear off the handcuffs and flee the scene We’d run in opposite directions But you’d still show in my reflection We’ll slash all our layers torn at the seams Kill off empty promises we tried to keep We know it’s rare to last forever This puzzle can’t be put together You inspired me to be someone else But you went wrong You look so high you’re not coming down We’ve got some kinks we have to work out I’d bring them up but I’m not sure how Some things don’t hide for you to find Some strings are better left untied I’m not the one you want to save you I'm busy standing on my own You’ll find strength when you’re face to face with the dark unknown You think you’re buying in but you’re selling out And I can’t trust the words spewing from your mouth Strike the problems at the root like you’re supposed to do Out of everyone I knew, you should have had a clue Let’s cut to the chase about you and me Let’s tear off the handcuffs and flee the scene We’d run in opposite directions But you’d still show in my reflection You inspired me to be someone else But you went wrong You look so high you’re not coming down We’ve got some kinks we have to work out I’d bring them up but I’m not sure how Some things don’t hide for you to find Some strings are better left untied Take me to a place where we age like wine Why should we wait to burst and divide? You send the shakes and shivers running down my spine You gnaw at my veins from the inside Don’t vent to me, you know I won’t believe it
8.
Flower Crown 05:34
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I’m calling out every little single last thing I did Eternal slumber, what a wonder It’s the little things about you They said your fingers just slipped Now you’re a ghost without the spirit There was more you could prove than you put yourself through And all I can say is I wish I knew And everyone’s wearing black I couldn’t stare at that casket I looked down at my feet Couldn’t move from my seat Would you like what was said in the obituary You can’t pull strings around it To start making sense We can’t wrap heads around it We speak of you in past tense So what'd your little sis do? Bloodstains painted your bedroom And your face on the floor Made her shake to the core She doesn’t recognize you anymore Does your mother still cry? Does guilt still burn her on the inside? She acts like she’s fine but I know she’s had some bad nights Her verve went dark when you saw the light I miss when you were around bright white petals on your flower crown You would cry through red eyes like you were losing your shine "Why am I living it out when I want to die?" You can’t pull strings around it To start making sense We can’t wrap heads around it Our friends are growing tense When you left You shook the ground Picking petals off your flower crown But you don’t do that anymore We don’t do that anymore When you’re gone You’re gone for good An easy out when you’re growing old I don’t see you anymore I don’t see you anymore
9.
Let Me Tell You What I'm Thinking 05:10
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I’m only a bag of bones Inside this skin I call my home I think this body is my own But I don’t know if I’m alone I tried to mention it You cut me off so I sealed my lips But then they wouldn’t come unzipped Now I memorize a script I will turn you into art 'Cause you are I can mend that broken heart If you want I will be just what you gain I will We’re not too old to start again 'Cause you’re the one that got away I got out all I had to say So why do I still feel the same You want me to say I'm okay so we won't deal with the decay But you were someone’s holy grail And even you know you are frail So I’m sure if we did prevail that train was bound to be derailed But you don’t recognize None of these problems are problems in the way that you comprised And there’s pride in a demise When it all washes away it’s just like you fantasized But you said You’re only smoking your cigarettes to fill your chest and soak your throat with something that makes you choke And you’ll grow, and you will find you’re not left behind, you’re intertwined with someone that makes you choke just like that smoke but how do you cope? I will turn you into art 'Cause you are But I can’t mend that broken heart I can’t I won’t be just what you gain I won’t We’re not too old to start again But you’re the one that got away And can these clocks all turn us back They won’t they won’t We’ll make our way onto the track We can’t we can’t Is there any space to breathe It seems it seems Preserve what’s left of you and me 'Cause you’re the one that got away
10.
Die Out 06:28
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When you’re gone My smile fades a different way than it did when you were here Held out my hand for you to grab but then you disappeared And both of us still seem to wander toward the ones we fear And when you’re gone I’ll steal your clothes while you’re alone and haunt you on your own Lead you astray, I’ll make you stay, I’m breaking all your bones You’ll fill a space, won’t separate, we’ll turn from flesh to stone I haven’t seen the edge and I’ve been trudging up that hill We’re not the same as we were anymore I should be used to change but I haven’t felt the thrill I thought we’d see the light of day but now you’re gone You’re the one who’d lift me up when I was wearing thin You’re the one who held the tightrope now I’m struggling You’re the one who cleaned the mess but it’s still crumbling When you’re gone When you’re gone You’re a fountain spewing blood that falls on everyone Cant push or shove your tender tongue tell me who you’ve become I’ll sip the air straight from your lungs, you fit me like a glove You showed up in my head But I fell asleep instead We’re not the same as we were anymore It all goes away why couldn’t it just stay the same Now I’m holding all of this weight when you’re gone You’re the one who’d lift me up when I was wearing thin You’re the one who held the tightrope now I’m struggling You’re the one who cleaned the mess but it’s still crumbling When you’re gone I had a void that you destroyed that used to round me out I kept the bricks tied to my shins until I start to drown And as I collide with lack of pride, I see you clearer now You lost the butterflies And your voice started to rise You haven’t made up for the traits that I lack You've had some trouble being who you thought you should attract I haven’t heard you scream so loud Than when you couldn’t tell if you were fighting me or yourself For a feeling that was fleeting or the one that was revealing a part of me that I hadn’t known like every instance that I lost the courage to let you go

about

After recording the first album, I found myself writing music that was darker, not only musically but lyrically as well. I wanted to focus more on situations instead of only people. While 'These Threads Lead Somewhere' was mostly about relationships, both platonic and romantic, 'Never Live It Down' is the darker album. It covers toxic relationships, suicide, lost love, dissociation, and more throughout the 51-minute duration. I wanted to write about subjects that sometimes don't get written about, or I wanted to tackle subjects a different way. Examples of this can be heard in "Ambulance", where I talk about somebody who lost control of who he or she is, totally dissociating from his or her own self. "Flower Crown" has very clear lyrics that deal with the repercussions of suicide on family and friends, and "Once More" recounts the struggles of obsessions and compulsions.

While there will always be characters or people involved in the lyrics of a No Lungs song, it's the situations they're in that separate 'Never Live It Down' from 'These Threads Lead Somewhere'. This isn't an album of journal entries; it's an album of observations coming out of the dark and into plain view.

credits

released November 16, 2018

No Lungs is
Austin Cooper - vocals, guitars, bass, drums, shaker on "Ambulance"

Recorded July 2018-October 2018 in a Chandler, Arizona bedroom.

Mixed and mastered by Austin Cooper

Cover photo by Natalie Picht

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No Lungs Chandler, Arizona

The name is not a smoking reference.

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